双语笑话：你活不成了 You're Not Going to Make it
Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."
A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked Anything new at work, and he replied, no, I am teaching History.
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
?"I want 'yes' or 'no', "thundered counsel. "There is no need for you to argue the point!"
"But there are some questions which cannot be answered by 'yes' or 'no', "mildly responded the witness.
"There are not!" snapped the lawyer.
"Oh，" said the witness, "answer this then: Have you ceased beating your wife?"
双语笑话：Asking for a Raise 要求加薪
At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.
After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal（疯狂的） screams, hysterical（歇斯底里的） laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager's secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?